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How to stay connected with a teenager

Maintaining positive connections with your teen can be difficult as they begin to find independence.

This can be a challenging time for parents and teens to stay connected. Adolescents can react with a heightened sense of emotion and be more impulsive with their decisions.

I often hear parents during this period ask why a child they’d previously felt so close to is now so distant, so the question here is why?  

Here are some reasons why this may is happening:

Scientists have established there are several key changes in brain development during adolescence. As braincells and brain pathways connect more rapidly they perform better; each area of growth and behaviour change can really challenge the teen/parent relationship. This biological change is necessary as it supports coordinated thought, actions, and behaviours for a teenager’s transition to adulthood.

Teens become more outward looking as they explore their identity, focused on establishing connections with others away from their carers. As they develop new interests and become more influenced by people their age, they can begin to copy those they admire. At this stage teens can also misread facial expressions or cues, which is why they’re so quick to argue. The more logical area of their brain is still being built.

 

How to stay connected in a positive way
Hold in mind change is fast for teenagers in all areas: physically, socially, and psychologically. Coping with fears about relationships, fitting in, self-worth, hoping for acceptance – these can all heighten anxiety. Being emotionally available and empathic even when you are being challenging is key so press pause and acknowledge how difficult this process is. It will allow you to be open and be compassionate with your teen and yourself.
Remember social connection is vital for a child’s wellbeing. A good laugh with friends can introduce all the feel-good chemicals that help low mood or depression.
Avoid stereotyping adolescents and being hyper-critical. Enjoy their company as a new and exciting social connection.
Don’t underestimate how much they value their friends. It’s safer to be curious and non-judgemental within reason. Teens are full of interesting new topics and fashions. If they’re interested in a music artist, get to know the sounds rather than dismissing it. You may gain a shared interest.
Expressing how you feel or showing how you manage under stress can help a teen talk about their large and difficult feelings.
If they’re shouting and being unreasonable, try not to escalate the situation by joining in. They’re probably too angry or hurt to hear. Communicate later when things are calm.
 

What to look out for unhealthy connections and choices
When facing identity insecurity, teens may follow a group who they think is exciting or offers a sense of belonging. Look out for signs of risk-taking or dangerous behaviour which can be exciting initially, but develop into more serious difficulties:

going under the radar, truanting, dropping out from college or university
self -harm
weight loss, slurred speech, unexplained bruises and cuts, scalds, burns
erratic behaviour, becoming withdrawn, abusive and violent.
 

When connection is too difficult, psychotherapy can help
Sometimes communication has broken down and it’s important to open the channels again. This can be possible in a safe, non-judgemental space where even the most challenging issues can be thought about. Some teens find talking much too challenging. Exploring their feelings through the safety of imagery and the arts is a useful alternative to talking. Getting help early on can safeguard against issues affecting long-term mental health.

Link:https://www.psychotherapy.org.uk/news/how-to-stay-connected-with-a-teenager/
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Lifestyle interventions can help pediatricians meet the growing need for youth depression management

Psychological Intervention for Adolescent’s Depression

With rising prevalence of depression in adolescents, screening requirements are increasingly falling on pediatric primary care providers, who are encountering more at-risk patients. A new literature review in Harvard Review of Psychiatry underscores the evidence that non-traditional, so-called lifestyle interventions can help providers meet the growing need for youth depression management. The journal is published in the Lippincott portfolio by Wolters Kluwer.

The article reviews studies of lifestyle medicine interventions related to physical activity, sleep, nutrition, substance use, social connectedness, and stress management and provides clinical practice recommendations. "Having additional and more comprehensive details about such lifestyle recommendations could help clinicians integrate specific advice into anticipatory guidance, management, and treatment plans," suggest Talia S. Benheim, BA, and her colleagues at Massachusetts General Hospital, along with Michelle Dalal, MD, of the University of Massachusetts Chan Medical School and Daniel Hosker, MD, in the September/October issue of the Harvard Review of Psychiatry.

Lifestyle medicine interventions can mitigate lack of access to traditional mental health treatments
Adolescent depression is strongly associated with negative academic, employment, and health outcomes well into adulthood, and studies point to the importance of early and timely access to mental health interventions. Yet, inaccessibility of mental health services persists, especially among marginalized populations.

The utility, versatility, and cost-effectiveness of lifestyle interventions are well known. They can be used by both licensed and non-licensed providers; implemented in a standalone manner or as part of a larger treatment plan; administered in-person or virtually, with a single patient or in groups; and are often more cost-effective and accommodating to patients' unique cultural situations.

The article reviews evidence of lifestyle interventions in physical activity, sleep, nutrition, substance use, social connectedness, and stress, demonstrating efficacy or feasibility in reducing depressive symptoms in adolescents. Studies included clinical trials, quantitative studies, and qualitative studies, as well as the authors' own clinical experience.

Regardless of whether physical activity is considered light or rigorous, many studies demonstrate the efficacy of physical activity in reducing depression symptoms. For example, one revealed that a two-hour decrease in sedentary activity in patients between ages 12 and 16 reduced depression scores by 16%–22% by age 18.
Sleep problems in adolescents persist into adulthood and have been associated with lack of response to depressive treatment and are even a risk factor for suicide. Yet, one study demonstrated that simple and specific guidelines for healthy sleep habits improved depressive symptoms. Bedtime routines such as keeping a diary or maintaining wind-down activities, as well as cognitive-behavioral therapy for insomnia, are also important.

Nutritional studies demonstrate that healthy plant- and whole food–based diets can alleviate or reduce depressive symptoms. The authors suggest a number of simple interventional approaches, such as tip sheets or recipes, engaging professional nutritionists, and guidance on so-called mindful or intuitive eating.

Cannabis, alcohol, and nicotine are also associated with depression in adolescents and can hinder effective treatment of both. Studies show prompt intervention is paramount. An online program in Australia has shown that increased knowledge of substances, depression, and anxiety reduced likelihood of drinking.

In adolescents, loneliness is correlated with depression, and lack of social connectedness is a predictor of suicidal ideation. One study revealed that increases in connectedness over time had corresponding reductions in adolescents' suicidal ideation. Numerous forms of connectedness-;for example, via extracurricular activities such as clubs and sports-;have proven to reduce depressive symptoms and can overlap with other lifestyle interventions.

Finally, interventions to support patients in coping with and managing stress can favorably influence the onset, maintenance, and severity of depression. Successful interventions include deep breathing, meditation, muscle relaxation techniques, and mindfulness-based cognitive therapy.

The authors caution that interventions involving significant behavioral changes can be difficult, especially without social, financial, or cultural support. Despite the scarcity of randomized controlled trials of psychological and health behavior (e.g., physical activity) promoting interventions, Benheim, Dalal, and colleagues believe these interventions can help meet the increasing need for mental health services and give teens and families opportunities to empower themselves with the knowledge, skills, and habits to combat depression.

reference:
Benheim, T.S., et al. (2022) Back to Basics: Lifestyle Interventions for Adolescent Depression. Harvard Review of Psychiatry. doi.org/10.1097/HRP.0000000000000343.

Link:
https://www.news-medical.net/news/20220915/Lifestyle-interventions-can-help-pediatricians-meet-the-growing-need-for-youth-depression-management.aspx
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Positive Parenting, Brain Development, and Teen Alcohol Use

Parents’ closeness in teen years enhances resiliency and reduces alcohol abuse.

Not only does positive parenting make for a happier family life, but it also enhances children’s cognitive, physical, social, and emotional development going forward. A recently published study shows that this remains true through the teen years, and that it's particularly important for kids at risk of substance abuse.
Adolescence is a time of rapid and critically important brain development, a time during which positive parenting leads to better self-regulation, cognitive processing, decision-making, and judgement. The developing brain can be nurtured by positive parenting, and it can also be damaged by drug or alcohol abuse, very much including binge drinking.
Research Findings Support Parental Closeness During Adolescence
In a recently published study, Gayathri Pandey and colleagues investigated whether parents’ closeness to their children aged 12 to 17 had an impact on the teens’ binge drinking behavior. They found that young people at risk of alcohol abuse were less likely to be binge drinkers, and more likely to show signs of healthy brain development, if they felt close to their parents through the teen years.
There were some differences by sex (e.g., closeness to mothers was more strongly related to avoidance of binge drinking; closeness to fathers showed a bigger impact on neurocognitive factors), but in general both parents’ closeness to their adolescent child made a difference in the likelihood of binge drinking and healthy brain development.
Pandey and colleagues concluded that, “Positive parenting and parent–child closeness promote children's efficient executive functions and self-regulation, which in turn reduce risky drinking and other externalizing behaviors.”
How to Practice Positive Parenting in the Teen Years
1-Take good care of yourself. It can be very challenging to be the parent of a teenager. In order to maintain a patient, loving relationship with your child, do your best to get good nutrition, enough sleep and exercise, and time for yourself.
 2-Be positive. The teen years are filled with anxieties, insecurities, and self-doubts, as well as a heightened alertness to possible criticism. No matter how challenging it might be, look for ways to show your approval every day, and be careful to avoid critical judgement.
3-Show up. As much as possible, be there for your teenager. Quality time is important, but so is the amount of time you’re present and available.
4-Listen. Your teenager may not always want to talk to you, but when they do, listen with an open heart, without criticism or judgement. Do your best to avoid lecturing or pontificating. Just listen, with empathy and (as much as possible) approval.
5-Be calm and confident. It’s normal and healthy for you and your teen to see things differently and to argue about that. No matter how you feel at the time, it’s good for their development if they contest your attitudes, beliefs, and values. That’s the best way for them to hear why you think the way you do. If you can be calm and confident about your position, you’ll increase the likelihood they’ll see things your way.
6-Respect your child’s autonomy. Treat your teenager as the young adult they are in the process of becoming. Give them as much respect and independence as they can safely handle. Let them learn from making small mistakes now, as a way to prevent larger mistakes later.
7-Support your child’s solution-finding. Even if your child asks for advice, if they come to you with a problem, be empathetic and start with questions that help them define their own solutions. “What do you think you should do?” is always a good start. Followed by, “What do you think would happen if you did that?” After that kind of conversation, if your child still wants you to weigh in, or if they haven’t come to a good solution, you might say, “If I were you, I think I’d probably…”
8-Set expectations, rules, and consequences collaboratively. Discuss with your child what you need from them, and what they need from you, to keep your home running smoothly. Make as few rules as possible, and make sure they’re clear and understood. Get your child involved in deciding on consequences for violations. Rather than removing privileges like screens, discuss additional chores as possible consequences.
9-Be a good role model. You may not realize how closely your child is watching what you do, how you relate to others, how reliable and trustworthy you are, whether or not your actions match your admonitions to them. They learn so much more from what you do than from what you say.
10-Stay connected. Keep your focus on your connection with your child, not on the mistakes they make, or the bad judgement they show, or the disrespect they show for you and others. What matters most in the long run is their feeling that you love and support them, that you believe in them, not whether or not they fail a grade, drink too much at a party, or stay out past their curfew.
There are many good reasons to practice positive parenting with your teenager. These new research findings show that supporting their healthy brain development and reducing the likelihood of substance abuse are two more.

reference:
psychology today

link:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/going-beyond-intelligence/202303/positive-parenting-brain-development-and-teen-alcohol-use
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